Oh Lord, inconvenience this type A girl!

I always have a plan. Always.
Whether it be the time I am to wake up, shower, go to sleep, I mean EVERYTHING is planned.. and usually hour by hour…
I can never be found without ‘my planner.’ & if you do find me without it, you will find one worried, anxiety filled girl. aka: a girl who is not trusting God in all aspects of my day (some days not even in any) Am I really unable to trust Him that He is still holding me in the palm of his mighty hand?… I need to release my need for control. I need to let God control me completely, in every sense of the word. I need to realize He is near no matter what. I need to see that He cares even for the small details.
In my first semester away from home and in college, I have never doubted my salvation or Christ’s love for me-which I am so thankful for! But I also haven’t made my Lord Almighty my 1st priority. 
I have allowed other things to be so time consuming that the One who gave his life for a filthy sinner such as me has been pushed aside. I am so thankful that my heart would not stand for this and I prayed day in and day out for “You, Oh Lord, to stir me. Break me, melt me, mold me, fill me.”

This weekend, I was stirred. 

Sunday morning, we headed to Grace Evan (like any other Sunday for the last 18 years). But this was not like any other. Jimmy Young brought the Word of God (as always). And when I say brought it, I mean it. No holding back. I HAD to listen. His focus was on Ephesians 5: 1-14…

1 “Be imitators of God…walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us 
and gave himself up for us …among you there must not be even a hint of 
sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these 
are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, 
foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 
5 For of this you can be sure: 
The immoral, impure or greedy person
has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God...
 8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of 
light …and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless 
deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret…
“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Then Dr. Young said something that shook me to the core… “Anyone whose habitual conduct and settled down lifestyle is defiled by such sins (impurity, greed- to which we are enslaved and addicted)… you are not a Christian. “
I have heard this group of verses many times. But never, ever has it hit this hard. Wow- how can I ignore such truth?! I am impure, I am greedy, I refuse to imitate God. I am truly human. I have known these things. But to hear blatantly that if I continue this way I have no place in heaven. Woah. Don’t mess with this Jesus girl’s spot in Heaven. Whether I wanted to obey or not, I knew I had to. My heart and soul craves the Lord of all the earth. Way more than the things of this fleeting earth.

To add to my stirring… tonight, my mom and I had sweet, sweet girl time. We went out for Mexican food before heading to Central Church to hear one of our favorite authors and fellow “Jesus girl”…
Lysa Terkeurst. Lysa spoke right to me tonight in saying “Inconvenience Me.” In so many ways, I am about convenience, which goes hand in hand with my impatience and and greed. These affect all areas of my life.I must be inconvenienced. I must be stirred. He must be first.

He is working. In this weekend. In this day. In my relationships. In my heart. And I couldn’t be more thankful.
God, INCONVENIENCE ME. Mess up my plan. Make me make the hard decisions. Wake me from my sleep.I want to shine for You.

I will strive to be 1) Joyful, 2) Prayerful, and 3) Thankful in the coming days and beyond. 
Oh how God is good. He hears my cry. And HE ANSWERS. I don’t know about you, but that overwhelms me with excitement.

I do not have to obey. I can head for the fiery depths of hell. But I am able to serve the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.. for all eternity. How beautiful.

3 thoughts on “Oh Lord, inconvenience this type A girl!

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