A question has arose in my mind multiple times during this unique time in my life. I am growing up, grinding through my freshman year of college, and trying to figure out who I am. As me. 
As a woman, I think it is common, almost unavoidable, to have jealousy (and lots of it!). So often I am found wanting to be like someone else… Sometimes, this is great. I love having Godly women to admire and look up to. But sometimes, it becomes irrational. I need to be me, not Jennifer Aniston. I need to workout like me, not Kelly Ripa. I need to worship God like me, not Lysa TerKeurst. 
It’s a journey, thats for sure. 
A curvaceous one. 
But I’m becoming more Real. (and I love and find peace in that.)
It’s a spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental thing for me
I’m beginning to see the differences in the things I truly love and yearn for and the things I do/participate in/etc because I saw someone else or anxiously flipped to the beautifully photoshopped images in Glamour while waiting in line at Kroger.

“What is REAL?” asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day… “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

                                                     “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. 

It’s a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 

When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand… 
once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.” 
-Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit

 Has this ever felt like a struggle to you?
Thanks for hearing my heart, loving me, & watching me grow.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s